Another Joke from Velma in Philly… Enjoy!

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, “Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get it started.” Her boyfriend asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?” The blonde says, “According to the picture on the box,it’s a tiger.”
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, “First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger.” He takes her hand and says, “Second, I want you to relax. Let’s have a nice cup of tea, and then…” He sighed…
“Let’s put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box…” 

A Duck In The Pool

That just about describes this picture.

A Duck In The Pool.   Actually its a little rubber ducky, you’re so fine, in the pool, he’s a friend of mine.

Rubber Ducky I’m totally Fond of you.   You tell me the temperature of the pool and whether I’ll be induced to shrink when I jump in.  

This was a view of the back yard back in October, when the water temperature was higher and I could even conceive of jumping in.  Now if I did that, I’d be joining the Florida version of the Polar Bear Club.   Today the water temp was 59F.   Too cold, way too cold!

The Pot of Gold is in Mt Trashmore

Last month, I was chasing rainbows.  

The rainbows seem to have a habit of being just out of reach.  In this case, the rainbow’s end was in Mount Trashmore.  Or at least one of the Mount Trashmores we have in South Florida.  

The topography of the land here is amazingly flat.   Someone from Indiana or Illinois would feel it’s normal.   This area makes South Jersey feel hilly, and North Jersey mountainous.  So as you are driving around anything that sticks up over the tree tops you can see for miles.  This is a big city, despite the fact that each of the urban counties here are broken up into little municipalities bordering a large city in each.  All those people, and Broward County itself has more people than Philadelphia City at 1.7 Million, make a lot of trash.   Since you can’t really drop it off at sea like they did back in the bad old days, the solution is to make a giant landfill and keep piling it up.  Behind the trees in the background there is a rather large pile of it.  It is so high that I can spot it from Powerline Road and Prospect Avenue, about 7 miles South of where that picture was taken.   I would guess that the pile is on the order of 50 to 75 feet above ambient elevation.

Pretty tall huh?

You should see the flocks of Gulls that circle the place during the afternoon when the thermals get started.  The whole area around there is full of birds, out of proportion with the rest of the area.

I guess the wildlife will adapt within reason to their surroundings.  Hopefully they still will be able to.  Who knew that a rainbow would be a good reason to recycle?

Lazy Sunday Morning Breakfast

Have you ever wanted to know how to get those scrambled eggs light, fluffy, and custard-y?

Like Sunny Anderson says “Low and Slow is the way to go!”.

After the long dog walk, I came home, looked at the quarter of a baguette on the counter and thought that an omelet would do the trick. I turned on the Swing Era music on my Sirius Radio for something bouncy to listen to, and kept it on well past Noon.   Mrs Dog found her mat and lay down, so all was right with the world.   The house was still quiet so I could have my time in the Kitchen.

I have a skillet that is about two feet wide, one foot deep, and plugs into the wall.  That was all the rage back when it was made in the early 70’s and it was in the family ever since.   The non stick coating is fading away, so I have to get it good and greased up or I’ll have a trial of a time scraping off the leftovers.   I found the best way to grease that particular pan is to set it on a low or low medium heat, slice a piece of bread or a bagel, and put enough butter on the bread to cover the surface.   Take that bread, place it face down on the skillet/griddle/what-have-you and use it to spread the butter all over the surface while soaking up the excess into the bread.   I don’t generally start cooking until the bread is golden brown and crispy, and it is at a point where the butter won’t smoke or burn.   The thermostat says it is about 325F but I can’t say whether I believe that or not.

While the bread is toasting, I have some chopped onions that I tossed onto the griddle that will grill until they turn translucent.  Its my breakfast and I love the sweetness of the onions…   Meanwhile back on the counter, I have cracked three eggs into a bowl and added about an ounce or two of milk into the eggs.   Scramble everything until they’re mixed up well in that bowl.

Now, the onions were sizzling and making the house all nice and perfumed with that Diner Smell we all love, and I have the Eggs sitting waiting.   When I have translucent onions, I slowly pour the egg mixture over top of the eggs.   No Salt or Pepper yet, because it will just dry out the eggs and make them rubbery!  I have to pour them slowly onto the skillet because they will run out wide and need to be herded back to the center so they don’t run out to the drain in the middle front of the skillet.   Eventually I am able to get the mix of milk and three eggs down onto the skillet and herd them into a nice fluffy pile of yellow goodness, and watch as they tighten up.  By this time, my bread is a crispy golden brown, the onions are mixed into the eggs and I can clear the bread off and onto the plate.

As I stand there watching I can gauge just how tight I want the eggs and when they’re ready, I pour them onto the bread.  Personally I don’t care for salt or pepper on the eggs, but if you do, now is the time to season them, just before they hit the table.

Just remember, Low and Slow is the Way To Go!

Crashing the Penguin Party

Yeah, I couldn’t resist this one.   This particular picture went Viral lately, I’ve been seeing it all over the place.  I grabbed it off of Failblog.org which I look at every morning before I go to work, but I’ve seen it at least another 4 or 5 places.  

I have a habit of looking at viral videos and viral pictures from time to time.   These are little bits of Internet Minutia that people post and someone thinks are funny and you end up with them all over your in box.   Some of those are truly amusing, others…Meh!

I’ve managed to post a couple jokes from Velma, and some from my Sister on here, I guess it’s my turn to give back.   Plus I’m still chuckling at the Seal in the lower corner. 

Ok, Juvenile, but fun.

Sunday is a day for long dog walks

Sure, this isn’t Sunday when you read this, but it is when I wrote it.

Having a good long night’s benedryl induced sleep, I managed to get up late for me at 8AM and Mrs Dog was ready for a long walk.   A Border Collie is an incredibly intelligent dog, and my girl is no exception.   There are a couple of routes I tend to take her on, and in the course of the day I try to get her over 2 miles.  Three miles are best.   We got to the cut off between a short walk (.85mi) and the long walk (1 mile even) and we looked at each other.  She started to tug me to the left and I said “Lettie, do you want to go for a long walk?”.   She smiled and veered off to the left knowing just what I meant.  No tugging and no force…

We got to Tropics and she wanted no discussion about it, made it known that she wanted to cross The Drive and started a gentle tug at the leash.  I said “Ok, Wait” and she relaxed pointing herself to the opposite side of Wilton Drive and the Gelato Shop.   For some reason she likes That Side Of The Drive, so it is a treat for her.

There are two new shops on That Side Of The Drive opening up.  There is a the place called Gelato and Martini where they’re serving alcohol and carbs as the name would make one believe.   I can’t really fathom why both fit together other than if you drink, your blood sugar drops and you need a sweet to pick yourself up.  I’ll give it a shot and let you know what’s up, it does seem to either be open or very close to being open.

The second shop may just be a way to fill some space, or it may develop into a permanent fixture.   There are about 10 or 20 pieces of Unfinished Furniture a few shops up from the Gelato and Martini.  I did see a small chair side table that I would like but the price on that was a bit high.  I’m used to a barn of a building at the Airport Circle in Pennsauken NJ that sold Unfinished Furniture at a bargain basement price.   The particular little table was priced $75 but should be no more than 40 or 50 especially since it is so close to the thrift store Out Of The Closet.   There were other pieces in there that were closer to what I expected so I will poke around there at some point.  I’m good with a paint brush and some wood stain, and I could use a small table to go next to my Poang chair.   We will see….

This walk did turn out to be a long one, we walked up to the back side of Bill’s enjoying the quiet and the lack of general activity that a lazy Sunday Morning can bring.   Mrs Dog is the best driving companion I have ever had, and it was nice to just get out, walk and wander around my quirky little city without being half asleep at 6am having an audio book in my head.

The View After New Years Lunch

After leaving Briny’s Restaurant, and a wonderful Fish and Chips dinner, we left and headed back to the car.  This series of Pink Columns is the underside of the Andrews Avenue Bridge over the New River in Downtown Ft Lauderdale.  You are looking East toward Downtown at the Riverwalk.  Riverwalk is a pedestrian mall full of restaurants and some historic buildings that look out on the New River.   It hasn’t really taken off as well as hoped, but it is nice enough to get to on a weekend for a bit of sightseeing as you can see from this view. 
There are just enough businesses open to make it look interesting for a tourist, and on the weekend you can go to the Jazz Brunches and bring your dog along.   If you enjoy Jazz Music, there are various acts that are there that will please you from live bands to recorded music.   It gets to be a rather interesting place to go with your dog, and there’s one day a month that the restaurants will allow your dogs to eat with you outside. 
Nice to have your dog with you as long as it isn’t a yapper!

The View from New Years Lunch

Yes, this was where I had lunch on New Years 2010.  What you’re looking at is the Riverwalk and the New River.  The boats there are a fixture there, not an exception.   I’m sitting just West of Andrews Avenue in Fort Lauderdale in a Restaurant called Briny’s Pub.  They’re an Irish Bar instead of an English Pub, and the distinction is somewhat lost on me.  What I do know is that Briny’s Pub has one of the best Fish and Chips platters that I have ever had.  We’re not talking about fish sticks and warmed over frozen french fries.  The plate is a large dinner plate with two strips of almost a foot long of batter dipped Cod, a bit of Cole Slaw, and a pile of hot French Fries that is almost as large as the fish itself.   Briny’s is a treat for me, with or without my required Guinness on the side.

I sat there having the meal on the First of January, in shorts and a T Shirt, watching the bridge go up and down, and the boats float by.  I wasn’t the only person with the idea.  The yellow boat in the background is a water taxi that you can take up and down the intracoastal and see the big houses and yachts parked in a row.  When the Taxi arrived, there were a couple groups that went to Briny’s and I think my plate of Fish and Chips was responsible for some of them getting some since it looked so good.

The world’s shortest car show – Motor Week on PBS

Ok, I’m really getting annoyed with both PBS and Motor Week.   Motor Week needs to retool their show.  I have Tivo capture this show because I like to watch car shows, and this one is probably the worst. 

The easiest answer would be to just delete the show from my Season Pass list, but I really do want to know more about what is coming up on the US Roadways.   I drive a Jeep with almost 40,000 miles and that should mean that I should be able to get at least another 60,000 miles on it.  The thing is that the car is a model year 2002 so I’ll get bored with it long before I must replace it.

I watch Motor Week on PBS because I do want to keep up with what is going on, but this show is so repetitive that I can skip through it in about 15 minutes.  Once you get through the Non-Commercials that they run on PBS, and the parts of the show that you have seen before, you end up with a very short show.  If the Brits can put on BBC the rather excellent and entertaining Top Gear instead of this sad excuse of a 30 minute infomercial with stiff readers who can’t read without looking at a teleprompter, women with no personality, and books about minutia that I’d skip past even if I were in a Borders Bookstore.

Honestly, PBS with their Non Commercials have dropped their real content back to about 50 minutes an hour.   Subtract the repeated segments and you end up with something about as interesting as a commercial.   Maybe I should go to the kitchen and get something from the refrigerator, it would be more interesting than this show has been lately.  No wonder why PBS has trouble making ends meet with this tripe!

Small Crop of Honeybells

What you are looking at is a cluster of Honeybell Orange Blossoms.   The smell you get from them is truly amazing.   When the tree is in bloom and healthy the yard is infused with a scent that is something to look forward.  The scent will disappear until it is time for harvest and you pick the fruit from the tree. 

The other day I managed to pick a single perfect honeybell from the tree.   If you have a fruit tree in your yard, I am sure you will agree with me, that there is almost no other pleasure that ranks so high as picking your own fruit from a tree in your yard.   I will say that also holds true when you have vegetables in the yard.   Fruit of your own Toil and so forth.

The weather we had two weeks ago is gone, my tree was affected.   I’ve got a number of leaves that yellowed due to the cold weather and were all over the yard when the wind hit it in the Sunday T-Storms we had.   The tree will survive, but if you like Orange Juice, you had better brace yourself for higher prices.  If my tree was damaged, the trees in the orchards around Fort Pierce will be much worse for the wear.