Our Velma from Philly sent me this list of Witticisms. I’m reading them as I’m formatting the list for the web and got a few chuckles out of it so I’m sure you will too.
Witticisms of Ignorance
Its not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame.
You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
We have enough youth.. How about a fountain of “smart”?
The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
A fool and his money can throw one heck of a party.
When blondes have more fun do they know it?
Five days a week my body is a temple. The other two it’s an amusement park.
Money isn’t everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
If at first you don’t succeed skydiving is not for you..
Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
Time’s fun when you’re having flies…….Kermit the Frog
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse
Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers give the rest a bad name..
One good thing about Alzheimer’s is, you get to meet new people every day.
Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge to produce reproductive organs.
Alabama state motto: At least we’re not Mississippi
ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.
You know why a banana is like a politician? When he first comes in he is green,
then he turns yellow and then he’s rotten.
I think Congressmen should wear uniforms like NASCAR drivers so we could identify their corporate sponsors.