The Retirement Home
After long consideration, a brother and sister decided to put their father in a retirement home.
After he was admitted and settled in they went to visit him.
They stood in the day room and watched him for a while while he sat on the couch watching television.
He started to lean to his left and as soon as he did, someone was there to straighten him up then, he started to lean to his right and, just as before, someone was there right away to straighten him up.
Feeling confident in their decision to have him put in the home they sat with their dad to ask him how he liked his new residence.
He sad “the place is fine, the food is good, they have my television shows but, they won’t let me fart”!
A young man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and is going to get married.
He says, “Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.”
The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while.
He then says, “Okay, Ma. Guess which one I’m going to marry.”
She immediately replies, “The red-head in the middle.”
Stunned, the young man says, “That’s amazing, Ma. You’re right. How did you know?”
“I don’t like her,” she says.