Anisette Cookies for Pat’s Birthday

It is Saturday when I write this.

I’ve been up all morning and into the afternoon baking.

You see, this is a family tradition that some good friends have had the pleasure to enjoy.  For years instead of buying something that will end up in a landfill or forgotten in a drawer, I have been baking gifts for friends and family.

This one baking stint isn’t over yet, I’ve got more to do tomorrow.

I was going to make Fudge, but this isn’t winter and it would be a mess by the time it made it to New Jersey.

So I baked the Coconut Cookies from this blog.  It makes 24 1 ounce cookies, and I am keeping 6 here for myself.  I’ll have those at work.

There’s more to bake tomorrow, and it won’t be a surprise that it will be my own chocolate chip pecan cookies.  No, this recipe I won’t share, and there are plenty recipes similar out there.   Try the internet cookie recipe it is based off of that but I have tweaked it to make it my own.

But I did get to wanting some Anisette Cookies, like when I was a wee brat.  Mom would bring these home often enough that I got to think of them as something everyone had.  Nope.

This recipe is quite similar in taste.  I will be adding a little extra Anise Extract since I enjoy a strong licorice flavor from time to time.  The taste in this recipe is “Authentic” instead of being a “Kick in the pants”.  If you came from an Italian family, this is familiar.

First the ingredients:

  • 1⁄2 cup butter, softened
  • 1⁄2 cup sugar
  • 3 large eggs
  • 2 teaspoons anise extract
  • 2 1⁄2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 tablespoon baking powder
  • 2 -3 tablespoons milk

Now the Process:

  • Wet ingredients – to a stand mixer, cream your butter.
  • Add the sugar and the eggs.
  • Finally add the Anise Extract.
  • Hold back the milk at this time!
  • All ingredients are to be added one at a time, as things incorporate.
  • Mix your dry ingredients in a bowl sifting them together.  Using a sifter isn’t absolutely necessary, I just tossed it in the stand mixer with all the wet stuff while it was running but you could use a fork in a big bowl if you chose to.
  • Trust me it isn’t fussy.
  • Finally, the milk is to be added to the stand mixer one tablespoon at a time.  The ending dough will be soft and pliable, but not sticky.  Think of that play-doh you had as a kid – Modeling Clay.
  • To Bake:  The resulting cookies will double in size and be rather soft inside like cake.
  • Spoon out 1 level tablespoon amounts into balls on Parchment Paper spaced evenly.
  • I got 15 cookies per “regular sized” cookie sheet, and really they don’t get all that big.
  • Preheat oven to 350F/180C.
  • Bake the Cookies for 10 to 12 or so minutes – they will NOT get golden brown except on the bottom.
  • The resulting cookies will be soft.

Oh, and, Sorry Pat, you’re only getting about 1/2 of these.  They were GOOD!

Three Men Arrive At The Pearly Gates

Three men arrive at the Pearly Gates and are greeted by St. Peter.

St. Peter: “I’m sorry gentlemen, but we only have enough room in Heaven for one more person. The one who died the most tragic death may enter.”
St. Peter nods to the first man.

Man 1: “I’ve been suspecting that my wife has been cheating on me for a few months. So I come home early from work one day to try to catch her in the act. When I looked around the only person I found was her in the shower. I’m relieved until I see someone hanging from my balcony. I go outside and stomp on his hands and he lets go but the bush below him breaks his fall and survived. Enraged, I went into my kitchen and pushed my refrigerator over the balcony, finishing the job. I was so ridden with guilt, I went inside and shot myself.”

St. Peter nods to the second man.
Man 2: “I just moved into my new apartment and was getting settled in when I went to my balcony and accidentally fell over. I fell two stories before catching onto someone elses balcony then some idiot came out and started stomping on my hands until I let go. Luckily the bush below me broke my fall but the next thing that I saw was a refigerator falling on top of me.”

St. Peter nodded to the third man.
Man 3: “Okay Pete. I want you to imagine yourself hiding naked in a refigerator…”

Three Women Break Out Of Prison

..a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead.

They hear the marshal and his men coming so they duck into a near by potato barn.

They find three potato sacks and jump in covering themselves from head to toe.

The marshal sends his deputy into the potato barn to check it out. The deputy sees the three sacks looking out of place, so he steps up to the sack with the redhead and kicks it.
“Woof.” says the redhead.

“Just a dog in there.” says the not to bright deputy. He kicks the sack with the brunette.
“Meow.” purrs the brunette.

“Just a cat.” says the deputy. He kicks the sack with the blonde in it.

Nothing happens.

He gives it another kick.
“Potato” says the blonde.

Happy Birthday Pat

Happy Birthday, Pat.

By today, you will ggt The Box.

You know, that box I was talking about last week.

Three kinds of cookies, and maybe more.  Depends on whether I found anything else to toss in there.  Everything was baked by hand.

We’ve been doing this for years, the back and forth of boxes of goodies.

The day itself?

Well here’s what went down that Saturday.

I got up late, and since I was half asleep from taking Melatonin to sleep, I was groggy.  A double mug of full Real Coffee.  You know, that bag of beans you see?  Guatemalan Estate Grown Antigua Huehuetenango roasted to just before Second Crack.

What that gibberish means is that it’s a Medium Roast, full flavored and complex.  The bitter has been roasted out.  A Central American Coffee is never to be roasted dark, it kills the flavor.

Anyway, it’s all for you, on your day.  Or about a week before your day.

We’ve been in the house working on furniture, playing Bollywood music and having a great time listening to bouncy stuff we couldn’t actually understand.  Good day for it.  Saturday.  Almost dinner time at this point, there has been so much to do.

The last of the coffee will be roasted soon and bagged for the trip.

Oh coffee.  There is a rule of Fifteens:

15 minutes Ground.

15 days Roasted.

15 months Green.

Grind the beans and brew within 15 minutes for peak flavor,

Roast the beans and grind within 15 days for peak flavor,

15 months to roast the Green Beans.

or something like that.  So don’t save it, after all The Holidays are coming, and there is bound to be more.

Happy Birthday Pat!

Omnivorous Monkey

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey.

He orders a drink and while he’s drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place.

The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone’s amazement, somehow he swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, “Did you see what your monkey just did?”
The guy says “No, what?”

“He just ate the cue ball off my pool table whole!”
“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied the guy, “He eats everything in sight, the little pig. Sorry. I’ll pay for the cue ball and stuff. ” He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves.

Two weeks later he’s in the bar again, and has his monkey with him.

He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.

While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.

The bartender is disgusted. “Did you see what your monkey did now?” he asks.
“No, what?” replies the guy. “Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!” said the bartender.

“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied the guy. “He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he measures everything first.”

So, A Scotsman Gets Drunk

….And falls asleep outside the pub he was drinking at.

Well in the morning two English lasses happen by and see the Scot in the gutter and the first lass says to the second, “Mary, shall we see if it’s true what they say about the Scots?”

So they pull his kilt up and sure as the sun rises, he’s naked as the day he was born.

Well both lasses are taken aback but the first recovers quicker and says to the other, “Mary, we’ve seen it, now we must leave our mark. Take the blue ribbon out of your hair and tie it around his, ahem, “parts,” and we’ll be on our way.”

So they tie the blue ribbon around his, “ahem ‘parts,'” and continue on their way.

A few hours later the Scotsman comes to.

He wakes and stretches and then stops suddenly.

He looks around and seeing no one, lifts his kilt and is stunned.

Looking down at his nether region, he says amazed, “Well, I donnae ken where we were or what we were doin’, but I sure am glad ye took first place!

Ok, Folks, Here is Where I go off Daily postings.

Yep, you read it right.

If you noticed, I tended for a very long time to post here at 10AM.

That changed to “before” 10AM, whenever I got to “releasing” it onto the blog and Facebook.

Then lately it has been early, 7AM.

Why?

Life got busy.  Very busy.  My consulting got formal.  I have a learning curve that I am deeply embedded in that I need to concentrate in.

Like a student in exam time, I have to give myself the option to skip postings if I need the time.

If I’m getting home after 7PM some nights, and up at 5AM, it leaves little time to sit down and write.

Now, truthfully, I could be briefer, I could write three in a row on a Sunday, and I could find more jokes.

Jokes are easy, just find one, clean out the dirty words, and post them.

But that isn’t me.

So when I come up with something that I feel is important, I’ll write about it.

There are a few more jokes on the weekends through October, and I’ll try to put at least one article up here a week, but I need a break.

I’m sure some will not care, others may care deeply, and still more will say “meh”.

After all, there are a bazillion blogs out there that started, ran their course, and ended.   Mine had a good run, five years and a little more than 2200 posts.

But I have to take a breather.

For Now.

I would rather step away than put hack postings here.  I’m way too goal oriented for that sort of thing.

So for now, Keep an eye out.  After all there may be a reason for me to bend an ear!