A man was driving down a quiet country lane when out into the road strayed a rooster. Whack! The rooster disappeared under the car in a cloud of feathers.
Shaken, the man pulled over at the farmhouse and rang the doorbell. A farmer appeared.
The man somewhat nervously said, “I think I killed your rooster, please allow me to replace him.”
“Suit yourself,” the farmer replied, “the hens are round the back.”
Paddy’s First Day on the Job
A bunch of Englishmen see that it’s an Irishman’s first day on a construction site.
Deciding to mess with him, they go “Hey, Paddy, since it’s your first day, we want to know if you know your stuff. What’s the difference between a joist and a girder?”
Paddy thinks for a moment before saying, “Ah, sure, I know that. ‘Twas Joyce who wrote Ulysses and Goethe who wrote Faust.”