A Bunch of Short Jokes I Shamelessly Stole

(Everyone recycles jokes anyway!)

I have a friend who is a structural engineer.  He’s always complaining about stress at work.

I became a proud dad today.  My son is actually four but he was an annoying little kid for the first three years.

How does every racist joke start?   With someone looking over their shoulder.

Why did Batman rush to the Bat Cave?  Because he had to go to the Bat Room.

Back in the day there were only 25 letters in the alphabet.  Nobody knew y.

How do you kill a vegetarian vampire?  With a steak to the heart.

So a Harley Davidson rolls into a bar and the bartender asks what would it like?  RUM RUM RUM RUM RUM RUM RUM

What do you call a French guy wearing sandals?   Phillipe Phillope

What is the opposite of Marshmallow?  Well, I guess it would be marshmadness.

Which is worse, Ignorance or Apathy?   I don’t know and I don’t care.

Why can’t a centipede fly coach?  Not enough leg room!

So I was in the bar the other day.  When i started hearing voices saying “nice shoes” and “lovely smile”, I started wondering who was saying it so i went to the bartender and said “Mate, do you know who keeps saying nice things to me” He replied “Its the peanuts mate” I replied “Peanuts, What do you mean” The bartender replied “Yea they’re complementary”.

I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but I turned myself around.

What do you call a factory that produces quality goods?  A satisfactory


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