Maple Coated Nuts in the Crock Pot Recipe

I have a habit of talking to my friends about cooking.  I am not a cook, nor a baker, just an enthusiast.  I do it sometimes when I have made a new recipe that I particularly enjoyed, or one that challenged me and gave me a feeling of accomplishment.

I was in a conversation with a lady I knew when I lived Up North where the tundra thaws out from time to time, Philadelphia.  We segued into what to make for dinner and desserts.  I commented that I had made this recipe below that is nothing more than Maple Syrup coated salted nuts.  It was beyond simple, and I made it in the crock pot.

This will turn your house into one of my favorite memories of Summer at the Jersey Shore, going into Planters Peanuts, and the smell in there.  My house smelled of gently roasting salted nuts for the rest of the day.

She immediately got interested since she loves slightly salty sweets, and nuts.  If it is as easy as I say it was then she wants the recipe and a narrative so she could do it herself.

The thing is that the picture showing a piddling quarter of a container tells you just how good these were.  They were amazing!

So here you go:  Here is the Process:

  • Mix together the wet ingredients – Maple Syrup, Vanilla Extract, and Salt in a large mixing bowl.  A two quart mixing bowl works perfectly for that.
  • Fold in two cups of mixed nuts and mix the entire mass well until all are coated.
  • Prepare the crock pot out.  Coat the bottom of a large crock pot with coconut oil.  Wipe off the excess with a paper towel.
  • Add the nut mixture to the crock pot and smooth out to one layer of nuts.
  • Turn on the crock pot at high heat, and cover it.
  • Every 30 minutes, stir the nut mixture and level it back off.
  • After 1 hour 30 minutes, you should be done, however it is a judgment call as to whether the coating is “dry enough.  Mine was a little bit sticky but I would not say it was “wet”.
  • Spread out onto a sheet of parchment paper or similar, and allow to cool and dry.
  • I ate mine within a week but you could go longer.


  • 2 ounces of Maple Syrup.  I used “real” but that fake pancake Pole Syrup or Honey SHOULD work.
  • 1 teaspoon of Salt – or to taste if you are watching your salt intake
  • 1 teaspoon of Vanilla Extract
  • 2 cups of unsalted mixed nutsyour preference, I used 1 1/4 cup Walnut halves, 3/4 Peanuts.
  • Coconut Oil to coat the crock pot

Tasty Floor, Lazy Dog

I remember when I had Lettie, someone said to me something that stuck in my head.  She was about four years old at that time and the person said “Oh!  She’s middle aged, and will be slowing down soon!”.

The comment was right.  It just was a bit jarring to me.

I have had dogs before her, and after her, but I had never paid such close attention to how fast dogs age until then.

They join your life, make it more full, enrich you.  A dog can be a faithful companion, and they can be a lever to help you do more in your own life.  It really is up to you.  We’re learning now, as human kind, how much more other species know and are aware of what is going on around them.

My own boy, Rack the McNab SuperDog (TM) is getting older now.  He will be four years old in September.  I’m seeing random grey in his fur around his face that was not there before.  For a pure black and white dog, the grey shows up in obvious comparison.

Being middle aged, or at least approaching it, he is now slowing down a bit.

Rack knows how to get my attention, and while asking him to “Show Me What You Want” is a little inexact for him, he will go to the back door and nod his head “Yes”.  He also nods yes for other things that he wants, so perhaps the conversation is right and the human needs a bit of training instead of blaming the dog.

I open the door and instead of him running at warp speed out to the yard, he trots out and goes about his business.

It used to be that I would clap my hands, he’d get excited, and run around the yard so fast that he would fall through a wormhole into an alternate dimension.  Now, meh, he’ll get there when he gets there.  Trotting around the yard, once in a while he’ll get a burst of energy, but I have to put some effort into getting that out of him.  More likely, when I try to run after him, he’ll sit down on the ground.


Jumping in the air doesn’t help.  He’ll go into a play stance and then roll over onto his back.

I can get him going, he’s not completely lazy yet.  It is after all Florida and at 5pm in June, it is usually around 90 degrees give or take a few.  If I don’t like the heat, it is a lock that in a black fur coat, Rack won’t either.

He follows me all over the house as well.   I’m going about my own routines during the day.  He watches.  Only coming into the kitchen when I am cooking or when the second mug of coffee is being prepared, he knows when I am a soft touch and when he can get food.

Mind you, not HIS food, he still takes far too long to eat that, but MY food is open for discussion.


I’ll park in my Poang Chair and start watching Spanish Language Cartoons to practice Spanish over the lunch hour and he’s sitting there listening.  Being a middle aged dog, he will lay down and eventually “nod off”.  Being made out of rubber bands and strings he will contort himself into weird fluid curves or completely relax by flattening out into a furry pancake.



We have all seen how a dog will melt into the cool tiles of the floor after a long hot day.  Mine?  Well he’ll lay down and get so relaxed that his tongue will loll out of his mouth and onto the floor.


That particular day he was out so deeply that his tongue stuck to the tiles.

Funny creatures, these dogs.  You never know what they’ll get into next.


A Train Driver Accidentally Kills a Man When He Drives Off The Tracks

A Train driver accidentally kills a man when he drives off the tracks.

Since he killed a person, the court sentences him to death by electrocution chair.

For his last meal, he requests a single banana. The prison guard thought it was odd, but gave him the banana, and the man ate it.

The next day, the man is strapped onto the electrocution chair and the executioner switches the electricity on.

Nothing happened at all. This city has a law that allows a prisoner to walk free if the execution somehow doesn’t work, so the train driver was acquitted.

A week later, the train driver miraculously got another job at the train station. However, he drove off the tracks again and killed two people.

This man was then arrested immediately and sentenced to death again. For his last meal, the train driver requests two bananas which is fulfilled. The next day, the man is strapped onto the electrocution chair and the executioner turns on the electricity.

Nothing happens. So, again, the man is allowed to walk free.

The next week, the train driver somehow managed to get another job at the train station.

Again, he drove off the tracks and killed three people. Again, the man was arrested immediately and sentenced to death. This time, for his last meal, the train driver requests three bananas. The exasperated prison guard exclaims, “Stop! You don’t get another banana!” and takes the train driver to his execution.

The train driver once again is strapped onto the chair, and the executioner turns on the electricity. Once again, nothing happens.

The executioner and prison guards are dumbfounded.


The train driver laughs and says, “See? The bananas have nothing to do with my execution— I’m just a bad conductor.”

Mango Musings In Wilton Manors

Being up an hour and a half before Sunrise in summer means Stupid O’clock.

I’m up with the ends of the creatures of the night, walking my dog.

No, seriously.  My body has been waking up at 4:45AM.  My eye opens and stares at the Chumby that serves as an alarm clock or clock radio that someone thankfully put on top of a box saying “Free to a Good Home” and sees it in big 5 inch tall numbers just about every morning.  Sleeping in means after 5 or even 5:30AM.

No idea why.

But the creatures of the night are normally quiet and don’t bother us often as we have the city to ourselves.

Rack, the McNab SuperDog would warn me if anyone were nearby.  He’s way too social and will react either with fear or friendship depending on whether there’s a creepy vibe or not.

One of the last places I passed by on the long walk of 1 3/4 miles is an “empty lot”.  The city bought the lot last year and the eventual plans are to pave it over and put in a parking lot here in paradise.  On the corner is a mango tree.  It is a grand tree, by any definition of the words.  Shading a wide area, it is at least 30 feet tall, and drops one pound plus “Banana Mangoes” on the ground when they tree ripen, or when a good stiff breeze hits the tree.

I know that the tree is due to go because one of the city commissioners is strongly reputed to “hate that tree” and wants it to go.  Strange because that is the commissioner mostly attributed to Green Efforts to improve the environment.  City Governments do not like fruiting or nut trees because all the food that is grown never gets eaten.  Some gets damaged, some falls and breaks the windshields of the Snowbird that was too stupid to park under the tree.  It all has to be picked up and dealt with.   So they put in bland trees that give shade and shelter but no food.

I was thinking about this the other day.  I have a gentleman’s agreement with an apartment building owner a short hop from my house.  This particular place has a massive tree on the corner of the property.  It is a Hagen Mango tree that bares fruit that can reach two pounds each.  Consider what a solid fruit that weighs a Kilogram would do to a head if it struck you falling from 32 feet in the air.

So I go in with my Mango Picking Pole and harvest what I can.

It’s not the best because I can only reach about 20 feet high.   This tree is about 40 feet tall, mature, and quite frankly a beautiful tree in its own right.

However it was not trimmed with picking in mind.  They “elevated” the tree so you can walk under it and allowed it to grow tall.  To allow picking, they would have to lop the top ten feet off the tree.  It would make for a very ugly tree, however the energy of impact of falling fruit would be lessened by not having that extra ten feet to fall.

Each year that I have lived here, I am out there, picking fruit.  Most years I am able to get five buckets of fruit.  This year is a bad harvest.  I managed to only get one bucket of fruit.  The ones there are very large, but few and far between.

To give you an idea, the Mangoes you see in a supermarket are about the size of an orange.  The ones I picked are the size of a large “gift quality” grapefruit.

And of course they are a fixture in my kitchen.  Taking about a month to ripen on the table, I wait until I can cut them with a butter knife.

Never the less, I truly enjoy those things.  Last year I made up enough Mango Jam that I finished the stuff in April.  The flowers for this year’s fruit had just appeared on the tree when I washed out the last jar.

It won’t be quite that much this year, which will be fine.  After all, how many Peanut Butter and Mango Jam sandwiches can you eat?

Oh and the fridge jam tastes much better.  You aren’t changing the flavor of the fruit by cooking.

The recipe you ask is simple:

  • 4 cups Mango Chunks
  • 1 package SureJell
  • Sweeten to taste


  • Add Mango and SureJell to the blender.
  • Blend until smooth.
  • Taste.  If not sweet enough, add sweetener of choice to the blender and reblend.
  • Refrigerate and use promptly, I recommend within 2 to 4 weeks.

A Frog Goes Into A Bank

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.

He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

“Miss Whack, I’d like to get a $30000 loan to take a holiday.”

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name.

The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it’s OK, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, “Sure. I have this,” and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall – bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she’ll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, “There’s a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30000, and he wants to use this as collateral.”

She holds up the tiny pink elephant.

“I mean, what in the world is this?”

The bank manager looks back at her and says, “It’s a knick-knack, Patty Whack, give the frog a loan. His old man’s a Rolling Stone.”

A Bunch of Dumb One Liners

How many DIY-ers does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but about a dozen light bulbs.

What do you call James in a sticky situation?
James Bond.

Is there a hole in your shoe?
No?! Then how’d you get your foot in it?!

I just “passed wind”
If you catch my drift…

What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment!!!!

A good pun is its own reword.

Why couldn’t the police solve the case of the flat car battery?
They had no leads.

Never date a tennis player
Love means nothing to them

Knock knock!
Who’s there?
I did ap!
I did ap who?
Yuck! Go to the toilet!

A British man is visiting Australia.
The man at customs asks him “Do you have a criminal record?” The British man replies “I didn’t think you’d need one to get into Australia any more.”

Why did the golfer wear two pants?
He got a hole in one

I tried making jokes about people who don’t go to the gym…
…but none of them worked out.

Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.
Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.

What do you do to a scientist after he dies?
You Barium.

This is a picture of the Nations First Permanent Pride Flag installation, or so I have been told.  It stands on Wilton Drive, across from City Hall, in Jaycee Park. Taken June 14, 2016 at around 2 in the afternoon.

About a week after it was installed, the murders happened in Orlando at The Pulse bar.  Now the flag is at half staff along with all the other flags that were seen on Wilton Drive.

It was described by John Oliver as The Most Florida Thing That Could Ever Be.  A Latino night at a gay bar in the theme park capitol of the world.

Or very close to that.

It was a closeted man, hyper religious, and hyper authoritarian.  He had a profile on a gay dating app called Grindr.  Whether he used it to date or to look for victims, we don’t know yet.


Probably both I would expect.


We do know he basically hated everyone, according to what his boss said in the interview that I saw.

I will not Pray For Orlando.  It was religion and prayer that got us to where we are.  Had this murderer been following a Religion of Peace, he would not have killed.  His own personal version of the particular religion that he did follow was a twisted relic of evil once his hateful mind got through with it.

I will leave it up to you to judge.  I simply will never support someone elected to office who supports the possession of those sorts of weapons.  They are designed to tenderize their victims and turn them into hamburger before the victim hits the ground.  They are designed to kill people more effectively.  They have no place in this world.

It is long past time to act.  If Sandy Hook and 20 children dying there, and Columbine’s massacre weren’t I doubt this will be acted on either.  It probably is too profitable for the paid off class of people to want to anger the NRA.

Enough praying.  Time to pass some meaningful gun control laws in this country and where ever else needed.  If the laws are there already, why aren’t you people enforcing them?

Lead, Follow, or Get Out Of The Way.

A Blonde Asks For A Loan

I have to admit, I like this one.  It isn’t your usual “Blonde Joke”.



A blonde woman walks into a bank in NYC before going on vacation and asks for a $5,000 loan.

The banker asks, “Okay, miss, is there anything you would like to use as collateral?”

The woman says, “Yes, of course. I’ll use my Rolls Royce.”

The banker, stunned, asks, “A $250,000 Rolls Royce? Really?”

The woman is completely positive. She hands over the keys, as the bankers and loan officers laugh at her. They check her credentials, make sure she is the title owner. Everything checks out. They park it in their underground garage for two weeks.

When she comes back, she pays off the $5,000 loan as well as the $15.41 interest.

The loan officer says, “Miss, we are very appreciative of your business with us, but I have one question. We looked you up and found out that you are a multi-millionaire. Why would you want to borrow $5,000?”

The woman replies, “Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”

A Woman Awakes In The Middle Of The Night

A Woman awakes in the middle of the night and finds her husband is not in bed.

She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.

She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of hot cocoa in front of him.

He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.

She watches as he wipes away a tear from his eye. “What’s the matter, dear?” she whispers as she steps into the room…. “Why are you down here at this time of night!?”

The husband looks up from his drink, “It’s the 20th Anniversary of the day we met.” She can’t believe he has remembered and starts to tear up. The husband continues, “Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating? I was 18 and you were only 15,” he said solemnly.

Once again, the wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive. “Yes, I do” she replies. The husband pauses……. The words were not coming easily. “Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?”

“Yes, I remember” said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continued. “Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, Either you marry my daughter or I will make sure you spend the next 20 years in prison?”

“I remember that, too” she replied softly… He sighed as he wiped another tear away from his cheek and said, “I would have gotten out today.”