Rack Convinces Me To Play – Video

Every so often I get the urge to shoot video.

This blog is very Photography Heavy, but it all comes from the same camera.  The trusty Samsung Galaxy S4.

I do video so infrequently that I had to find all the bits and pieces that I used last time to generate the files.  Luckily Linux simply updated everything for me and it Just Worked Just Like The Last Time.

Anyway, enough boring stuff huh?

Lately I’d go out back to do the Morning Inspection.  Happens right around 7:30AM.  I’m due for the second mug of coffee, Rack is due to water a Palm Tree or three.  Once that is done, I get herded.  He wants to play.

Before it was him going around the yard at lightning fast speed.  Now, he’s more interactive and more assertive.   For a dog who was completely “shut down” when I got him, I’ll put up with the assertions.

Oh, and he’s finding his voice, Finally.  After three and a half years.  Give or take a bit.

 

You will see what I mean.  Safe for all viewers.  Goofy for them too.

Now, if you want to see it, it’s in full HD on Youtube, and here is the direct link.

Advertisements

Two Jokes about Fidel Castro

Ok, yeah, I get it.  You’re not supposed to make jokes about the dead.  We all heard that or similar many times.
I will say that I have seen these jokes flying around like mosquitoes after a rainstorm.  Usually it isn’t so much a joke about Fidel Castro so much as a joke about how awful communism is as a school of economic thought.

At any rate, here are two of them.  Fidel dies and goes to heaven, and Fidel dies and goes to hell.

Seeing that I live very close to Miami and the Miami Herald is (still) an excellent newspaper I bring you first:

Fidel Castro Dies And Goes To Heaven

Castro finds himself at the pearly gates. St. Peter is there, surprised to see him. He says, “Fidel, you’ve done so many awful things in your life, how did you get here?”

 

Castro says, “It was the Pope. He blessed me and told me I must have been chosen by God, so I was certainly going to heaven.”

“Chosen by God? No, that can’t be right. Why would he say that?”

 

So Castro tells him the story:

“When Pope John Paul visited Havana in 1998, I personally welcomed him, and invited him to tour the city. We rode in the Popemobile, and since it was a warm day, he opened the roof.

 

Everything was fine until we reached the Malecón, when suddenly a gust of wind blew up and swept the Pope’s zucchetto off his head and out into the sea. There it floated, bobbing on the waves.

 

“Don’t worry, Your Holiness,” I exclaimed, “I’ll get it for you!” I jumped over the side of the Popemobile, leaped over the seawall, and sped out over the water. Yes, I actually walked on top of the water, all the way out to where the zucchetto lay floating on the waves. Then I turned and dashed back, still skimming over the surface, leaped over the seawall, and jumped back into the Popemobile, without getting a drop of water on his clothes. “Here, Your Holiness,” I panted.

 

“And that’s when he blessed me.”

 

Saint Peter is obviously having a little trouble believing this, so he calls God over and asks, “Do you remember this?”

God says, “I bless a lot of people. It’s hard to keep track of them all.” Then he looks at Castro. “Do you have any proof?”

“Proof?” Castro exclaims. “Of course I have proof! It was worldwide news!”

 

So God sends Peter down to Earth to go collect some newspapers from the day after, and sure enough it’s on the front page of every last one.

 

In Granma, the Cuban Communist Party newspaper, the headline read “Fidel is Chosen by God; He Walks on Water.”

 

In L’Osservatore Romano, the Vatican newspaper, the headline read “God Performs a Miracle: Makes Fidel Castro Walk on Water.”

 

And in the Miami Herald, read by the Cuban exile community in Miami, the headline read

“Fidel Castro Doesn’t Know How to Swim.”

 

 

And now, for the flip side of it all:

Fidel Castro Dies and Goes To Hell

There he discovers that he has a choice: he can go to capitalist hell or to communist hell. Naturally, he wants to compare the two, so he goes over to capitalist hell.

 

There outside the door is the devil, who looks a bit like Ronald Reagan. “What’s it like in there?” asks Fidel.

 

“Well,” the devil replies, “in capitalist hell, they flay you alive, then they boil you in oil and then they cut you up into small pieces with sharp knives.”

 

“That’s terrible!” he gasps. “I’m going to check out communist hell!” He goes over to communist hell, where he discovers a huge queue of people waiting to get in. He waits in line. Eventually he gets to the front and there at the door to communist hell is a little old man who looks a bit like Karl Marx.

 

“I’m still in the free world, Karl,” he says, “and before I come in, I want to know what it’s like in there.”

 

“In communist hell,” says Marx impatiently, “they flay you alive, then they boil you in oil, and then they cut you up into small pieces with sharp knives.”

 

“But… but that’s the same as capitalist hell!“ protests Fidel, “Why such a long queue?”

 

“Well,” sighs Marx, “Sometimes we’re out of oil, sometimes we don’t have knives, sometimes not even hot water…”

The Genius Drunkard

A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender (with a drunken slur), “bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill.”

So, the bartender does just that and hands the man a bill for $37.00.

The drunk says, “I haven’t got it.”

The bartender slaps the guy around a few times then threw him out into the street.

The very next day the same drunk walks into the bar and once again says (with a drunken slur), “Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill.”

The bartender looks at the guy and figures to himself that he can’t possibly be stupid enough to pull the same trick twice, so he gives him the benefit of the doubt, pours a round of drinks for the house, has a drink himself and hands the drunk a bill for $37.00.

The drunk says, “I haven’t got it.” The bartender can’t believe it, so he picks the guy up, beats the living day lights out of him, then throws him out into the street.

The next day the same drunk walks back into the same bar and says (with a drunken slur), “bartender, buy every one in the house a drink, give me the bill.” In disgust the bartender says, “what, no drink for me this time?”

The drunk replies, “No, you get violent when you drink.”

Learning Intermediate Spanish From DVDs Makes a Bit Futurama Uneven

If you are in school, you can pick up a language in class.  Of course you have that pressure of having to make the grades.

Not everyone is up to that, but if I remember right, everyone had to have a language in High School.  Some folks can’t pull it together to learn a second language.

I got out of High School and then learned a stack of languages, all for programming computers.  I still am learning some, but for the most part they tend to be a variation on a given theme.  All for the Web at some level.

Right now, I’m teaching myself Spanish.  Partly with TV and Partly with Computer Based Training.  Getting to a basic level of comprehension is not too tough.  There are some excellent websites out there to get you the basics.

The Apple Is Red.

The Socks are here.

What Is Your Question?

You can go pretty far with the basics.  Once you get past that, it does get more difficult.   Remember back to your own childhood and how you learned.  It was random words, then built basic constructs, and you got feedback on how badly you spoke.  Your family, friends, and neighbors would correct you and you would get better.

That may be the problem here.  I’m doing it in isolation.  I used Duolingo.com to get myself past the basics, listen to Spanish language radio and watch TV on my own.  After a while, the TV Programs get repetitive, so you change one series out for others, and move on.

I got bold. I started watching movies dubbed in Spanish, and always the Closed Captioning helped.  I am fairly dependent on closed captions.  When you are older, or merely an adult, you read better than you speak.  When you are younger, you speak better than you read.

Or so I have been told.

I got to the point where I was watching Plaza Sesamo, which is Spanish Sesame Street, and can quote dialogue on some of those sketches because I have seen them too many times.  It’s time to try other things.

One day I started looking at my DVD collection and wondered about some of the shows I liked watching.  Are They Dubbed?

It turns out that some of them are.  “Disponible es Español” it says.   Available in Spanish.

That’s it!  I was thinking about watching Futurama again, why not in Spanish?

Fry’s first glimpse of New New York

Futurama picture from wikipedia.com

Put in the disc, got to the menu, chose Spanish Language and Closed Captions in Spanish.  Play!

I watched as Fry was playing a Donkey Kong knock off in a Pizza Parlor in New York City on December 31, 1999 and quickly realized the problem.

Voices were wrong.  Not only wrong, but they didn’t match the closed captioning.

That’s kind of a problem folks!

I’ve seen Futurama a couple times through.  That first episode I probably saw as many as five or more times.   It isn’t that I am obsessed with it, I watched the series with my programmer at work during lunch.  My office was the one that had all the laughing coming from it because we’d be watching comedy TV while stuffing our faces.

Now, mind you, while English to Spanish translations are fairly faithful, each language has its quirks and a Literal Word By Word translation is never completely correct.  Idioms don’t always sound right when literally translated.

But…

This was just weird.  It was as if someone said “Lets mess with them”.

There are a number of ways to say one specific thing.  Something can be a plant or a bush or a shrub and they are all correct.  Add context and calling something a plant when it is obvious that a cactus is more appropriate became glaring.

Any given language has phrases where certain thoughts are said multiple ways.  The concept of truth can be said as “De Verdad” or “Claro” but translated slightly differently when brought back into English.

Whoever did Futurama did it wrong.  They had the script, chose the words, spoke the first set but used the closed captioning for the second.

Try reading along with that one on your own.

The other mind warp that happened?  The voices are just wrong.

Fry, Leela, and Bender on a buggy on the Moon

Futurama picture from wikipedia.com

Leela is a “standard New World Spanish” accent.  Not Spain Spanish, probably a Mexican Standard or perhaps Colombian.  In English, she’s got Katie Sagal’s voice, a fairly unaccented woman with a powerful voice.  Pleasant.  We like Leela, Leela’s a babe.

Ok, they got that right.  But…

Hermes went from being Jamaican to being Standard.

Fry went from a slight NYC accent to being Standard.

Bender went from being a thick working class NYC accent to being Standard.

Picking up on a trend there?

Yeah, it is like they scrubbed the entire “character” out of the voice character.

I guess it’s like when you go to another country for the first time and turn on the TV and watch I Love Lucy dubbed into French.  Ricky swearing in French just doesn’t have the same impact.

I’ll have to find I Love Lucy and see if I can understand Ricky’s swearing.  Might pick up a few words here and there!

I’m sure some of the dubbing on other series will be better.   After all, the kids shows I watch, plus the Nature Documentaries that I catch are all captioned correctly.  If the voice on the TV says a word, the text comes out correctly based on the spoken word.

That may be my problem.  The Crutch of Closed Captioning has reached its end of use.  I need to set it aside.

The last episode of Futurama I saw I watched in Spanish with English subs.  Easier, but I may as well watch it in full English.

I’ll leave the captions off instead.

Who knows, it may help me get better at things.  Until then I’ll stick with watching my DVDs in Spanish and annoying myself with bad captioning.

“En serio?”

“Sí”, it gives me an excuse to watch the stuff, right?

A Lawyer Finds a Magical Lamp

A lawyer is stranded in the middle of the desert. He finds a lamp and rubs it. Magically, a genie comes out of the lamp and says

“You have freed me. You now have three wishes. But you should know, whatever you wish for, all the other lawyers on Earth will get double.”

The man says

“I understand. My first wish will be a large beach house.”

The genie snapped his fingers and said

“Your new beach house is waiting for you. But all the other lawyers on Earth have two beach houses right next to yours.”

“That’s fine”

the man said.

“How about a nice sports car?”

The genie snapped his fingers and said

“Your brand new sports car is in your garage. But all the other lawyers on Earth now have two sports cars. You have one more wish.”

The man thought and thought about what his last wish should be. After a few hours of thinking, he stood up and told the genie

“I always wanted to donate a kidney.”

Two Guys are Sleeping In The Woods

Two campers are sleeping in the woods, Bob and Jim.

Bob wakes up his friend: “Hey Jim, wake up. Look up at the stars and tell me what you see.”

Jim: Well, I see a cloudless sky which will likely lead into a dry and balmy morning.

I see that the North star is visible, meaning we are in the summer solstice of the Earth’s rotation.

I see that there are millions of stars, each harnessing the potential for habitable life.

I see that whatever God may or may not exist, we exist in a universe that is both perplexing and terrifying at the same time, as our role in this universe is small and we a nothing but a glimpse of significance.

What do you see?

Bob: Somebody stole our tent.

Art Happens On A Sidewalk

I’m up at Stupid O’Clock.  Even now that the time change happened, I’m still up at Stupid O’Clock.

You folks are doing something sensible like drooling into your pillow, snoring, and catching spiders with your mouth.

But no, I’m up around two hours before sunrise walking my dog.

This happens just about every day, rain or shine.  I do try to wait out the storms since they usually are short and under a half hour, but normally I just soldier on through them.

How can you tell a tourist in South Florida?

They have Umbrellas!

We’ll also say they don’t know how to drive, but you’ll argue until you see it yourself.   Really, folks, a sign that indicates “No U Turn” means the same down here as it does in Lexington, Kentucky, and Toronto Canada as it does here in Metro Fort Lauderdale.

Sheesh.

But I am out with Rack, the McNab SuperDog (TM) wandering around town.   He’s watering palm trees and I’m on the look out for anything out of the ordinary.

I’m convinced I need to bring a pen knife to remove some stickers on public spaces, and a bottle of Acetone to wipe down the graffiti that some low lifes have decided to “decorate” light poles around town.

 

However, one thing popped up on the sidewalk the other day.  We had a Halloween celebration last month.  Great time for a party.  Thousands of people enjoying being out together.  Homes got decorated here, and some of them stayed decorated.

 

One of the balconies on Wilton Drive ended up with a laser display.  These things showed up on the scene first a year or two ago.  Put Stars on Your House!  Home Laser Display!  Amaze Your Friends.

 

For the most part they ended up looking somewhat weak because of the repetitive nature of the displays but it was a nice change of pace from the over done gaudiness of holiday displays.

 

People took them back in and put them in storage and even a few ended up at the thrift stores in January or February when nobody considered a need for them.

 

But Halloween?  They’re just the ticket.

 

These folks put their display up and turned it on directly below their balcony.  So at 5 AM, rain or shine, Rack and I walk through the red and green lasers and smile.  They dance and make trails quickly on the ground for anyone to pass by.

Now, not having the right equipment to take a professional picture of them is actually a benefit in this case.  You see if it was timed right, all I would end up would be a field of dots.

 

However the camera I used did not have a fast enough shutter in this case.  Turned that display in to fireworks instead.

So if you’re in a light display, try it yourself.  You never know where your picture will get an upgrade to Photography.