How About Some More One Liners?

I Fell asleep at a house party last night and someone stuck a Teabag in my mouth!

I went totally Mental!

I mean, No one treats me like a mug!

 

A recent study has found out that women who carry a wee bit of extra weight live longer …than the men who mention it.

 

What do you call a bear without teeth?

A gummy bear!

 

When in doubt…

Wife : I doubt my husband has been cheating on me…. I have doubt on one woman we both know…. What to do?

Shrink: Take your husband to that woman’s doorstep and see if his wi-fi connects automatically.

 

The definition of a Freudian Slip is:

It’s when you say one thing you but you mean your mother.

 

Apple has just turned to making Medical Accessories.

Their first product is the Ipatch.

 

I have a girlfriend but …

“But what?”

“She’s in another nation”

“Which one?”

“Imagination”

 

What kind of pants does a scientist wear?

A pair of genes.

 

Yes, I have lost to my computer at chess…

But it turned out to be no match for me at kickboxing!

 

Why do people never eat clocks?

Because it’s really time consuming.

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