So The Beatles Go To America For The First Time

They go to a currency exchange place by the airport and the ask for (along with a decent sum of cash) some of each type of coin so that they could be familiarized with the currency.

They’re rich enough that they don’t have to skimp out on the number of coins they get, so the cashier gives them four rolls of each type of coin–pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters. Sure, maybe it was overkill, but they were in America, where bigger meant better, so they didn’t mind.

The Beatles were not a particularly rich sort before their big break, so it may not be surprising that they went from withdrawing no money at the bank to withdrawing a lot of it, leaving no middle room to go there asking for coins. It was, in fact, the first time any of them had seen a coin roll.

“Look at this!” said Paul, “That’s a bloody line of quarters! A quarter line! And all the other coins are in lines too!”

The cashier tried to explain coin rolls, but the Beatles were already so overjoyed with this discovery that they didn’t hear and kept on calling them coin lines.

They walk out and get in a car with a driver that was waiting for them–Ringo in the front, George in the back left, Paul in the back right, and John in the middle.

They put the money in the middle of the car, in the little bit of space between driver and passenger seat. There’s no pocket there, as the car is from the sixties, but it shouldn’t really matter–after all, they’re worth a lot more than their money is.

They drive out of the airport when, all of a sudden, a car traveling in the opposite direction identifies them and tries to swerve in front of them to stop the car. The Beatles speed up to counter, and they end up colliding head-on.

Majestically, three of the Beatles are unscathed as well as the driver. But the fourth–John, who was sitting directly behind the money, took the full brunt of the blow. The quarters, nickels, and dimes drove into his chest before bouncing back down to the floor of the car, but the penny rolls were launched in such a trajectory that they lodged themselves into various facial features.

When the initial shock died down, Ringo asked, “John, are you okay?” But John couldn’t hear or see him–those appendages were blocked off.

“Aaa-argh!” shouted Lennon, “Penny lines are in my ears and in my eyes!”

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