Why don’t cows skip leg day? To keep their calves in shape!

A young boy and his dad went out fishing one fine morning.
After a few quiet hours out in the boat, the boy became curious about the world around him.

He looked up at his dad and asked “How do fish breath under water?”
His dad thought about it for a moment, then replied, “I really don’t know, son.”

The boy sat quietly from another moment, then turned back to his dad and asked, “How does our boat float on the water?”
Once again his dad replied, “Don’t know, son.”

Pondering his thoughts again, a short while later, the boy asks “Why is the sky blue?”
Again, his dad replied. “Don’t know, son.”

The inquisitive boy, worried he was annoying his father, asks this time “Dad, do you mind that I’m asking you all of these questions?”
“Of course not son.” replied his dad, “How else are you ever going to learn anything?”

Debian Linux Stretch – Installing The LAMP Stack

This Linux Thing is no more difficult than your Windows Thing.  Let that sink in.

It’s an operating system.  You have probably been using Windows since you were a wee brat.  That is bound to be years and years of training.  I’ve been using Linux since the mid 1990s, probably earlier.

Oh and I am still learning.  I like to learn so that’s why I keep coming back.

One very important point – It’s all about how good you are at finding the Correct Instructions.

I spent three hours going through some instructions that were from the Debian Wiki until I hit a road block.  That led me to realize that the Debian Wiki has an incomplete article on how to install the LAMP Stack on an older version of the operating system.  Even if I had read it through top to bottom first, I would not have found that out until I actually started using it.

LAMP is what you are installing.

  • L is Linux.  If you got here, you have it or are researching it.  Debian, or a derivative like Ubuntu.
  • A Is Apache.  That is the actual web server.  You can write basic web pages if you have this installed.
  • M is MySQL or MariaDB.  It’s the database so you can write data driven pages.
  • P is PHP or it could be Python or Perl.  That’s your scripting language.

“Yeah, I know, me too.”  That was basic stuff for people just learning.

At any rate, I went back to the web and found another page from which I am using for my own instructions.  If something isn’t quite right with what I am writing below, then check back there.

This is a recipe so I can come back later when I get interested in trying this on another machine.

Importantly, there is a design strategy called “Don’t Break Debian”.  Don’t install anything outside of Debian’s Repositories or you may end up with a broken install.  While that is a bit impractical in many cases, and I have gone “outside” Debian, things do sometimes not work or they work strangely.

If you find an install somewhere that says add a repository, then your caution flags should go up.

On the other hand, it also implies that you should use Debian’s information first before you go outside to another site.  Since I am writing this, it shows that I don’t agree.  Their info was flawed.

Here are the instructions, as brief as possible:

All commands are done from Terminal as Root.

Prep – Get the Computer up to date.:

  • apt update
  • apt upgrade
  • apt dist-upgrade


  • apt install mariadb-client mariadb-server
  • mysql -u root -p   (add a root password)
  • CREATE USER ‘user’@’localhost’ IDENTIFIED BY ‘password’;
  • GRANT ALL PRIVILEGES ON newdb.* to ‘bill’@’localhost’;
  • quit


  • apt install php7.0 php7.0-mysql


  • apt install apache2 apache2-mod-php7.0

Testing the Server

  • mousepad /var/www/html/index.php
  • enter this on the first line, save, and quit:  <? php phpinfo( ) ?>
  • firefox localhost/index.php
  • Result is you will see information about your system in Firefox, or chrome if you must.


  • apt install phpmyadmin

Answer following questions by hitting space and then tab to OK and enter:

  • Web Server: Apache2
  • MySQL Application Password – same as you created earlier

Test with the following to get to the PHPMyAdmin login page:

  • firefox localhost/phpmyadmin

That’s it.  You’re done.  Took me less time than installing the operating system which was under a half hour.  Granted I’m on a fast computer and reasonable internet speeds.

There is one more thing to consider.  I am not worried about anyone hacking my server because this is not exposed to the internet.  If you are going to proceed with this server serving pages to the world, you will most certainly need to get the security brought up to date.  I don’t believe that this server even has a firewall active at this point.

Pee in the pool and nobody bats an eye. Do it from the diving board and everyone loses their minds

Ok, so it’s a wee joke with a wee bit of humor!

An old couple celebrate their 50th anniversary at a restaurant that they used to regularly go on dates to.

It was a particularly fancy establishment and a few drinks into their visit, the elderly husband stood from his seat, looks around and asks his wife, “Do you think we should go behind this place and relive our first time here, like against the fences?”

With a smile and a nod, the wife agrees and they venture outside and into the alley around the restaurant.

Not long afterward, a bike patrol cop rolls past the alleyway and hears the most intense love-making session known to man, the couples’ shouts echoing into the street.

He flashed his headlights onto the couple just after they had finished and with a puzzled look, he asked “What are you two doing? I don’t think I’ve ever seen a couple go at it with such passion and intensity in all my years.”

The old man, pulling his pants up and buckling his belt, replied, “Yeah, well fifty years ago this place didn’t have electrified fences here.”

The Thermos is the most intelligent thing in the world. It knows how to keep hot things hot and cold things cold.

The thermos.

A guy (MAN A) walks into a diner, sits down, and pulls a thermos from his backpack. Across the room, a man at the counter, (MAN B) noticed the man.

MAN B: “Hey you! What you got there?”
MAN A: “It’s called a thermos, it keeps hot stuff hot, and cold stuff cold!”
MAN B: “Wow! I gotta get me one of those!!!”

The next day, the same to men, (A and B) walk into the same diner.
MAN B: “Hey look! I picked me up one of those thermos things!”
MAN A: “Great! What did you bring for lunch?”
MAN B: “2 hotdogs and a popsicle for dessert!”

Is Anyone Writing Documentation Anymore?

So the last exercise I had done before Hurricane Irma hit was to take a computer and completely install a new operating system onto it.

I will be doing that again today, from my own instructions.


Sure, it’s a bit esoteric, some people are good at reading between the lines.


The problem with that is that you end up spinning your wheels and finding that something you assumed, you assumed wrong.


For the record, when I write documentation, I write it as I do it. That way I know it actually works.


It may have taken 26 steps once you had all the pieces, but if you had my hardware and the right software, you’d have a nice happy laptop running Debian. Thinkpad Laptop, X201 or fairly similar, although the version of Debian I used (Non-Free) was fairly liberal with getting what you need for many more laptops. Evil Wifi Drivers not withstanding.


The next step was to find documentation to install a web server.


The trick with installing complex software these days is that you basically have to find the right documentation. Or to be more precise, the correct documentation. Documentation that is complete and actually will work.


Oh and of course you personally have to read and understand what you are reading. No distractions allowed.


However, it is rare that you will find exactly the right documentation to do what you want. Often software is updated and that documentation you used two years ago to do that exact thing no longer works.


Highly common in the open source world, some very minor tweak will change where the files are and you are back online doing a search for what you were looking for.


In the consumer software world, you have a similar situation where the documentation was only partially updated since it was originally released. Think Windows XP vs Windows 8.1 vs Window 10. Things just moved around drastically within Windows itself let alone functionality.


I got “caught short” with trying to install a web server. Did it before. No problem. Since it is an open source project, you get what you pay for sometimes. Following the wrong guide I got the entire web server working. I just don’t have any passwords for anything.


As they say on a football field: Drop Back 5 and Kick.


That would be American Football. I never played Soccer, at least not for any length of time. All that running around annoyed me.


So at some point I’ll re-attempt that mess. FInd another tutorial that promises to install the LAMP stack and write down what I did.

Or I will find that one bug and fix it all. My choice, after all.


That is why I keep this blog. Many times I need to do something more than once. Create a Linux Web Server, save it off, then reproduce the results on a different computer a year later.


So when I post a long diatribe on how to do this and the other thing, I’m doing it for Future Me. So I don’t end up banging my head on a wall.


Like Today. I got it wrong. Happens. Time to start over.


For now, I’ll just go look for the football. Maybe the dog will chase it around the yard. Blow off some steam. Finish my Spanish for the day.

Try, Try again.

As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden. The plot thickens.

Three men were driving through a desert while on vacation when all of a sudden the car breaks down.
The three men get out to see what the problem is only to find out the engine block cracked so they agree that they have to go find help and to meet back at the car by nightfall.

They all go to the trunk of the car to see if they have any provisions for their walk and find a jug of water and a loaf of bread.

The first man quickly grabs the jug of water explaining to the other two that if he gets hot he’ll just drink some water and keep walking until he finds help and starts to go on his way.

The second man grabs the bread and explains to his friend that if he gets hungry on his journey that he’ll just eat some bread and keep walking until he finds help and leaves going a different direction.

The third man is left alone and realizes he has nothing to help him survive the desert so he unbolts the car door and starts walking into the desert in a different direction from the first two.

A hour or so later a desert soldier who was on patrol noticed the first man and asked him if he was ok.

The first man explained his situation and assured the soldier that he was ok because if he got hot he could just drink his water.
The soldier pointed in a direction and told him to head to his headquarters for help while he searched for the mans friends and headed out again.

A couple of hours later he found the second man still searching for help.
The soldier asked him if he was ok and the second man told him he was because he had his bread to eat whenever he got hungry.
The soldier explained that he found the first man and to start heading toward the car as help would soon arrive and headed out again to try and find the third man.

The soldier found the third man in no time but was confused as to why he was carrying the car door.

When the soldier asked the man why he casually explained that it gets really hot in the desert and if he gets too hot he can just roll down the window to cool off.


Girl are you a newspaper? Cause you’ve got a new issue everyday.

Since the storm has passed and people are running around cleaning up, how about a little toilet humor.

Just a little.  Suitable for all audiences, of course.


Bobby has to use the restroom.

Realizing that he has to, very badly, he raises his hand.

“Teacher, can I use the restroom?”

His teacher looked up from her desk, where she was going through the lesson plans for the day. “If you can say the alphabet correctly, then you may.” she replied.

Bobby shook his head. “But I have to go, really bad!” he said.

His teacher was adamant. “Not until you recite your alphabet.”

Bobby looked desperate. “A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z.”

His teacher shook her head. “Bobby, you forgot P.”

“No, I didn’t.” Bobby sighed. “It’s running down my leg.”