wakeonlan – remotely starting another computer

This is something I have been using for literally decades.  Since I have been setting this up in my home office, I am reminded that some people just may not have an idea this exists, and that they almost certainly have it on their computers.  Just a matter of turning it on.

I would have my “big” machine in a room away from where I was seated, then I’d wander off and sit on the couch with the little machine. Then I would need something on the big machine across the network. Since it was typically on my third floor it was impractical to take the laptop upstairs when the TV was on in the downstairs living room. To make it handy I wanted to turn that beast on so I could play music in the kitchen or read a document I have on it on my little machine. This little trick would let me do it.

Wake On Lan” is simple conceptually. You send a “Magic Packet” to another computer on your network, or across the internet. The packet talks to the ethernet card, some wifi cards reportedly work but I have never figured that bit out. When the packet gets there, the computer turns itself on.

Think “Magic Bullet” to wake the computer sleeping at home while you are at work.

Mind you, there are steps to get this to work.:

You have to turn it on in your BIOS.
Ok, better said, you have to find out where it is in the pages of your BIOS, then turn it on.
If you have ever seen your BIOS, and know what’s up in there, you probably are in a small minority of people, but trust me there are good things there.

You look for a prompt that says “Enable Wake On Lan” and make sure it says yes or is turned on or “selected”, then save and reboot the computer.

That computer must be using a wired connection to the internet – an ethernet connection must be used and not Wifi, although I have seen that some people have managed to get this to work on Wifi.

Technically that’s all you need on the “distant” computer you want to wake up, however you do need a few bits of information.

Every network card has a “MAC Address“. Think of it as a telephone number. That network card, and only that network card has that specific number. I have mine, you have yours. Same thing as the phone number on your phone, or your IMEI number on the phone. You and only you have THAT number. It may also be in your BIOS, but every BIOS may vary.

You feed it into a wee little program and it fires off a magic packet to your network. The packet wanders around your network and the ethernet card is listening. If that packet matches the address on the card, the card will wake up the computer from hibernation or turn it on with a “cold boot”.

Then you can get your “stuff”.

The business of across the internet is a bit more complex. You actually would have to punch a hole in your firewall for the purpose, and this is beyond this posting of “Hey look at this cool stuff”.

RaspberryPi users, sorry, you can’t wake a Pi across the network, and I really wish you could! The hardware is built more simply, and the Ethernet port actually sit on the USB Bus.

For Linux users (and BSD) with Debian XFCE, you can find out your MAC Address by looking at the connection information when you right click on the Network Connections icon in the status bar or in the Settings, Network Connections on the applications menu. Right click on the Wired Connection you have hooked up. Look for “Hardware Address:: and you will find a number that looks like 01:23:45:67:89:AB

Windows users, check your hardware manager under My Computer.

Mac, sorry, one isn’t handy to me but the base commands should be there under your network manager.

Look for the Mac Address, again it’s six pairs of Hex numerals that look like 01:23:45:67:89:ab, and write them down.

To test, hibernate or shut “this” distant computer down. Then go to the “other” computer, and launch a Wake On LAN Client. There are many, and they are generally free. Mine is called “wakeonlan” on Linux. It runs at a command line (gasp!) by typing (horrors!) in “wakeonlan 01:23:45:67:89:ab”.  You can easily encapsulate it in a bash shell, of course.

Then after a short pause, the computer turns itself on and presents itself at a login prompt.

Your network shares will be available on that machine, or you can use Remote Desktop or VNC to use it directly from where you sit.

Wake on Lan clients are available:

Linux – called wakeonlan and is available by “apt install wakeonlan” in Debian.

Windows – there are a bunch of them that are available here.

Mac OSX – wakeonlan is available here.

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I went bowling with my son yesterday… Next time I’ll use a bowling ball, however he was a good sport. It’s a shame he went on strike, I guess I’ll have to pick up a spare.

When I read this one this morning, I got a big smile on my face. Ladies just might like this one!

 

 

 

Compliments

This 60 year old woman is naked, jumping up and down on her bed laughing and singing.

Her husband walks into the bedroom and sees her.

He watches her awhile then says, “You look ridiculous, what on earth are you doing?”

She says, “I just got my checkup and my doctor says I have the breasts of an eighteen-year-old.”

She starts laughing and jumping again.

He says, “Yeah, right. And what did he say about your 60 year-old ass?”

She says, “Well, your name never came up.”

 

 

As for this second one? Everyone has something to be laughed at!

 

 

A dad buys a lie detector machine and waits for his son to come home

When the son comes home:
Dad – So you were at school right?

Son – yeah
Lie Detector – BEEP

Son – Okay, okay I was at the cinema with my friends
Lie Detector – BEEP

Son – ….I was having a few beers with my friends

Dad – What??? When I was your age I NEVER touched alcohol
Lie Detector – BEEP

Mom – Hahahaha! Well honey, he IS your son
Lie Detector – BEEP

What do you call a group of musicians with wives? A hus-band.

Oh I don’t know why, maybe it is the rain, but this one made me laugh out loud. Let’s go have a beer!

 

Mr Singh walks into a bar in London

He orders 3 glasses of beer and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.

When he finishes, he comes back to the bar counter and orders 3 more.

The bartender asks him, “You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in the glass; it would taste better if you buy one at a time.”

Mr. Singh replies, “Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Dubai , the other in Canada and I’m here in London . When they left home, we promised that we’ll drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.”

The bartender admits this is a nice custom and leaves it there.

Mr. Singh became a regular in the bar and would always drink the same way. He’d order 3 Beers and drink them in turn.
One day, he came in and ordered only 2 Beers. All the other regulars notice and fall silent.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bar tender says, “I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my sincere condolences on your great loss.”

Mr. Singh looked confused for a moment, and then he laughs…. “Oh, no,”
He said, “Everyone’s fine; both my brothers are alive. The only thing is…
I have quit drinking”!!!

Frog in The Shutters

Once upon a time, there was a house.

The house had some truly awful windows.

They leaked air when the wind blew.  They leaked water when it rained.  They were more complex than necessary.  In an air conditioned house, they were expensive.  In winter, it was colder than necessary.

They had to go.

They did go, but the problem was that in that weird construction, and all that complexity, there was a guest sheltering there at night.  My tree frogs.

When the windows were gone, they were evicted.

I hoped that they would come back, but they never did.

Tree frogs are gentle and harmless.  They will eat bugs and nasty bite-y creatures that you don’t want living close to you.  These frogs are mainly quiet, and just hide near you asking nothing but a hiding place to sleep.

There was a single return the other day for two separate nights.

A much smaller tree frog than the previous ones perched itself in the shutter of my front bedroom.

It didn’t mind us, we didn’t mind it.  Of course getting a picture was a requirement.

We live much closer to wildlife here than we did up north, and that is quite fine.  I could do without the iguanas jumping into my swimming pool at dawn, and the ducks are a major nuisance these days.  If I ever have to mop duck droppings that were tracked into the house again, it will be too soon.  It’s been a while since a gecko decided to try to hunt inside, and the patented Gecko Safe Removal Tool is going dusty.

But as for the frogs, well they don’t come by that often.

Why was the fishing show so successful? They had a great cast

Ok, this is so dumb and so wrong… that I just laughed out loud when I read it.

 

You must be single…

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon.

As she was unloading her items onto the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her was watching.

While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.”

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped of the drunk to her marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on Earth did you know that?”

The drunk replied, “‘Cuz you’re ugly.”

 

Who is this General Failure? And why is he reading my external hdd?

Having been in a university library far many more hours than I could count, I can see how this would be a disruption.

 

A guy asked a girl in a library,

“Do you mind if I sit beside you”? The girl answered with a loud voice,

“I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!!!” All the students in the library started staring at the guy and he was embarrassed.

After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy’s table and she told him “I study psychology and I know what a man is thinking, I guess you felt embarrassed, right?”

The guy responded with a loud voice: “$200 JUST FOR ONE NIGHT!? THAT’S TOO MUCH!!!”

And all the people in the library looked at the girl in shock and the guy whispered in her ears; “I study Law and I know how to make someone feel guilty”

 

You’ve had a bad day but…

The parachute company says you’ll get a full refund.

The flesh eating virus barely touched your other arm.

Imagine what would have happened if your ex-wife had a good lawyer.

The fertility drugs worked 4 times better than expected.

The insurance company said they will pay the full book value of $455 for your 1966 Corvette.

At least the operation was partially successful.

Don’t worry about who the real father is, your son’s chances of getting a full scholarship just increased significantly!

 

 

Have You Ever Really Looked At A Coleus Flower?

I spend a lot of time in my garden.

At 7:30, every single morning, I have an alarm set.  It tells me that I have to go outside to the yard to inspect the irrigation system.

There’s a ritual here.

I stand up, put some water into the French Press coffee mug I have and call Rack The McNab SuperDog if he isn’t paying attention.

Usually he has beat me to the back door by now.  Only if there is an active thunderstorm will he hold back.

I open the sliding glass door with a “Hi Oscar” to the parrot, and walk outside.

That coffee mug gets emptied into the garden with a chuckle.   I’ve been told “it’s Gardener’s Gold and must not be wasted.  Parts of my garden is more than half coffee grounds and the rest is that beach sand that passes for soil here.

But I do have to go out, inspect the swimming pool and make sure that the pots are getting watered.  They have a short, ten minute time period, where the irrigation pump is dribbling water into the orchids, mangos, various cuttings, onions, and green onions, and all the rest of the things that I have in a little terra cotta prison.

They get drip fed their water, and I walk around and enjoy them.

It also is what the photographers know as the Golden Hour.  The sun is up, now in mid May, but not up so much as to be harsh.  There’s a golden glow on everything.  Shadows are prominent.  Flowers are back-lit to a brilliance that the noon sun’s harshness would overpower.

Everything is burnished in gold.

If you are fortunate, you will get to see this.  Just at the right time, just at the right angle, simple things become amazing.  The forgettable becomes something to remember.

I was fortunate that day.

Inspecting the Milkweed plants that were being turned into stumps by baby Monarch caterpillars, I looked closely at every single pot.  I wanted to know if my green onion was going to be the temporary home for a pupa, as it has happened before.

My showy leaves on my involuntary coleus were shining.  Usually their reds, greens, and yellows were more muted, but this particular morning, at this particular time, they were radiating a glowing show of colors.  My friendly office plants that insist on dropping seeds into pots that I would rather not have them in so thickly were singing a chorus of beauty.

Then I spotted it.  The Inflorescence.  Coleus bloom dozens of little pale purple and lavender flowers on a flower spike, called an inflorescence.  This one inflorescence was backlit perfectly.

I had to remind Rack that I had pictures to take, this was too good to miss.

When I got back inside, I looked at the tiny flower.  There were hairs that were radiating as if they were shine lines on a comic drawing.

I had taken the time to smell the Coleus flowers and it showed me a side of it that I have never expected.

Sometimes, the very things that you have in abundance that have faded to become mundane, can be so beautiful you have a new appreciation for them.

They’re all over my yard.  I have been pulling them up and tossing them in the thick tangle that is the utility easement behind the pool.  They taunt me by growing even back there in the shade.

I guess that if they can grow in a ninth floor north facing single pane window in a cold Philadelphia winter, they can gather enough sunlight to grow here in the riverine wetness that is South Florida.

And if you are lucky enough, you just may be treated to their shine.