There’s an app for everything these days… you can use that one this month.
The wise old Mother Superior from county Tipperary was dying.
The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.
Back at Mother Superior’s bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother Superior drank a little, then a little more. Before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop.
“Mother”, the nuns pleaded, “Please give us some wisdom before you die”. She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on her face and said, “Don’t sell that cow”.
Due to a power outage, the house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her Mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby… Little Connor was born.
The paramedic lifted him by his feet and spanked him on his bottom and he began to cry.
The paramedic then asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.
She quickly responded ‘He shouldn’t have crawled in there in the first place, spank him again!’
Years ago, I decided I wanted to be a doctor, so I took the entrance exam to go to medical school.
One of the many questions on human anatomy asked was to rearrange the letters “PNEIS” into the name of “an important human body part which is most useful when erect.”
Those who answered “spine” are now doctors
The rest of us are posting jokes on social media.