How about a couple of “Dad Jokes” that are suitable for all audiences?
A broccoli, a tomato, and a yam were running in a race.
The broccoli got off to a great start, but being a green runner, he didn’t have enough stamina to finish the race. The yam and the tomato were neck and neck for the first mile, but the tomato fell behind. The yam was about to reach the end of the race when he collapsed from exhaustion right in front of the finish line. Over the course of the next hour, the tomato ran the entire length of the race, and won.
Why was the tomato so successful?
The tomato paste himself.
—- Now, I am embarrassed that I like this one so much. I remember telling it to my nephew when he was a small child and he was laughing about it all weekend! —-
Mamma gets Tommy a turtle for his birthday . . .
3 days later she checks it and sees it’s covered with nasty bloody scabs all over the bottom. So she takes it back for an exchange.
2 days later she sees this one also has the same wounds on it’s belly.
She marches back to the pet store with Tommy on tow and yells at the manager that she wants a good healthy turtle this time. The manager is baffled, none of the other customers have had this issue. So he hands her the best turtle he has.
Tommy picks it up and gets on his knees, takes the turtle and swipes in on the floor yelling VRROOM! VROOM!