What do you get if you eat onions with beans? Teargas.

Saturdays are for cooking. Much to the chagrin of those around me, my plans are to make some Refried Beans. Mexican spices, and from scratch of course.

I have a small amount of beans soaking since 1030 last night, so that’s 11 hours by my watch.

I’ll let you know how it goes with the recipe. Seems like Abuelita has some tricks up her sleeves, and I do enjoy a good Plato de Refritos on the side of my Taco Casserole.

But meanwhile…
Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital.

One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end.

He sunk to the bottom and stayed there.

Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

When the medical director became aware of Mary’s heroic act he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered her to be mentally stable.

When he went to tell Mary the news he said, “Mary, I have good news & bad news. The good news is you’re being discharged because, since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you’ve regained your senses. The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he’s dead.”

Mary replied “He didn’t hang himself, I put him there to dry.”

 

A senior citizen was driving down the freeway

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife’s voice urgently warning him, “Herman, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful!”

“Hell,” said Herman, “It’s not just one car. It’s hundreds of them!”

 

Please dad, with cranberries

Dad, can we have a dog for Christmas? Please, please, please!

Sorry children, I think we’ll go with turkey as usual

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