With what’s going on these days, half of us will end up being great bakers and cooks, the rest of us will need to start AA soon.
People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Spain.
Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.
Today I was wearing a shirt with the family crest of my favorite painter Frida Kahlo. After a few hours I started to get hungry and ordered takeout. When my delivery person arrived he handed over my food without taking any money for bringing it to me. I asked him “How come there’s no charge?”
He replied: I was going to charge you, but I noticed you had Frida Livery”
2 hockey players were fighting on the rink.
Both were swinging at each other full strength. Until one lands a nice right hander to the jaw and the hockey player lands face first onto the ice. A player on the bench says “at least he got ice on it right away.”
My neighbor sells home security systems door to door. He’s pretty good at it too.
If nobody’s home he just leaves a brochure on the kitchen table.