Oddly, there is usually a theme to these things on the weekend. I’m not really sure what it is, but they do feel like they belong together. Cross-eyed little Dad Jokes I guess…
A husband and wife are golfing and almost immediately, the woman is stung by a bee.
As she’s had some bad reactions to bee stings before, the husband runs to the pro shop to get some assistance.
Bursting in, he says to the pro “My wife’s been stung, can you please help?”
The pro replies “Well where was she stung?”
“Between the first and second holes”.
“Her stance is too wide”.
All three of a farmers daughters are going on a date tonight. With him being overprotective he decides to meet each boy at the front door with a shotgun.
The first boy says: “Hi my name is Eddy and I’m here to eat spaghetti with Betty” The farmer sends them on their way.
The second boy says: “Hi my name is is Tam and I’m here to pan gold with Pam.” The farmer sends them on their way.
The third boy says “Hi my name is Chuck and I’m here to..” The farmer shoots him.
A pharmacist arrived to his drugstore when he see a man on the ground moaning lightly.
So the pharmacist goes in his store and ask his assistant if she took care of the guy outside.
She explains him that he had a bad cough but there was no more cough mixture.
Pharmacist: What did you tell him?
Assistant: I gave him a bottle of laxative and tell him it was cough mixture and he drank the whole bottle.
Pharmacist: WHAT!? Laxatives won’t help a bad cough!
Assistant: Well since he drank it he doesn’t dare cough anymore.