Funny what passes through what I call my mind when I am reading a joke. I started to free-associate with changes and modern life and technology and I’m laughing at myself because while technology is easy for me, Printing is not.
I’ll be making up a nice new sign for the Jeep to tell people that there is nothing of value in the car and it’s not for sale, and to beg them to leave it alone.
In two languages! With Pictures! In glorious Grey Scale and Black And White!
But yes, I did end up with a Robin Williams Style Rant here. Hang on for a ride. There’s a Bounce-Bar by your knees if you need to hold on.
Anyway, I suspect that this joke way below is one of those “older” offices. Having a lot of paper around the place seems to be a bit anachronistic. While I personally “need” to be “able” to print, I think I am on the same ream of paper that we got for the house back in 2010 and I still have “Special Resume Grade Paper” from the 90s. You know, the good heavy weight stuff that isn’t pure white so it sticks out in a crowd.
Remember having to mail a resume?
Remember actually writing a Pen Pal?
I write maybe four actual letters per year. They get dropped into a box to go along with some “goodies” that I send off in a care package explaining what crap I have loaded into the thing.
In order to get ink to physical piece of paper, I had to have a printer.
Since “technology” happens, I had to have a server for that printer so I could print from any computer on my network.
Install an operating system, a version of Debian Linux, Of course.
Get it working to print something out. Share that printer across the network. Start up Libre Office because I refuse to run anything Microsoft if I can avoid both it and the spyware that they insist in putting in their software. Write the letter and save it.
All that? Took about a week of thrashing because there was some weird inconsistency between Raspbian on ARM and a pure Debian on X86 that I am used to…
So now to print, turn on the RaspberryPi, wait for it to boot in about 2 minutes, then turn on the printer. Rush back to the laptop and tell it to print to the printer “Tucked in a corner of Bill’s Desk Somewhere”.
Yes, I called it that.
I had to get a physical piece of paper to my financial advisor a while back and I ended up having them send me the form to sign so that I could physically carry the thing to the Post Office that is two miles away.
Get into the Jeep, hope it starts because I simply don’t drive that often.
Look around as I drive the car like a puppy out the window. Oooh! look! Moving Things! Shiny Objects! Other People!
Drive out into traffic and get confused by which lane to choose when at that bizarre five way intersection that everyone knows here as Five Points.
I truly hate driving through Five Points. It’s generally done with a horn or an extended gesture that is caused by some damn tourist using the wrong lanes or forgetting to get the hell off the phone because the light changed.
Then I am invisible because nobody actually follows the Uniform Vehicle Code any more and am trying to jockey for the Curb Lane because I am only going a mile which involves two stop lights on Dixie Highway, crossing a major rail corridor, and who knows what other shiny objects might be hanging out at the next intersection.
I prefer to walk.
Stand in line and hand it to the people at the Oakland Park, FL Post Office. Truly nice people there. Sure, it looks like a throwback to the early 1970s and probably has not been painted since then, but I end up with a smile on my face, even if I do have to stand in line.
After it gets there, lather, rinse, repeat and go home. I’ll take the back roads, I’ll need a sedative if I have to go through Five Points twice in one day!
Beep Beep! I’m a Jeep!
Careful, Nervous Driver On Board!
As Carl Sagan said “To make a cake, you first have to invent the universe”.
Anyway, all of this rant was triggered by this joke I promised you below.
A young manager was finishing up late at work
When he was leaving there was only one other person in the office.
He noticed it was the owner of the company standing by a Shredder with a sheet of paper looking confused.
He approached him and asked if he was alright.
The owner said “my secretary has gone home and she always does these things for me”, and asked “do you know how to work this machine”.
The manager said “yes”, turned on the Shredder and stuck the sheet in and said “all done”.
The owner said “brilliant, now I need three more copies.”
Ok I guess you had to be there!